A Matter of Time
by kg1507
Summary: Lena was transfixed as she watched the battle, forgetting the Shadows, forgetting her teammates and that she should be helping them, only able to watch helplessly as Kara took harder and harder hits and still went back for more. Based off of plot points from Crisis on Infinite Earths
1. Chapter 1

The Shadow demons were everywhere on this world. Their sleek humanoid figures were black as night, with soulless white eyes that could strike even the bravest with crippling terror. They had learned very little about them since they'd appeared, only that they were silent killers who preyed on "positive" matter beings, and could destroy with just a single touch. With their team's arrival to the Antimatter universe, the demons now had over a dozen meals to choose from, Lena Luthor included.

They _had_ discovered one weakness in their battle back home - light. With a few adjustments to her redesigned, renamed "Luthor" suit, Lena had been able to convert one of her hand cannons into a high-powered ray gun that seemed to keep the demons at bay when they had attacked her own Earth. However, the Shadows seemed to be stronger now that they were back in their native universe. Lena had only had enough time to make a limited amount of weapons and ammunition for the others, and the light blasts only dealt half their normal damage in this barren wasteland, which meant that twice the amount of shots were needed to take down just one Shadow.

To make matters worse, a few of the super-powered individuals who had journeyed with her were having adverse reactions to the Antimatter universe; their powers either fluctuated erratically or were severely depleted, and some of their abilities were gone altogether. Superman could no longer fly, forced to fight on the ground while his cousin took to the air alone. Kara's speed was fading fast, and from the way things looked, her strength was waning with each passing minute. Two of their heaviest hitters were in serious trouble, which meant a retreat was most likely their only hope in getting out of there alive - but the Anti-Monitor was here, and if they could just defeat him, the likelihood of saving the multiverse would tip heavily in their favor, according to Brainy's calculations. He was protecting the portal in which they had arrived through from the demons while simultaneously preparing for the moment their team needed to leave following either victory or defeat. All of his energy and willpower was focused on keeping that portal safe.

Lena fired shots at every black shape she saw, trying to keep them from getting too close to her teammates and herself. She knew from her suit's readings that she had enough reserves for about twenty more minutes of heavy fire, and she desperately hoped it would be enough. She glanced up at the sky, where Supergirl was engaged in combat with the Anti-Monitor, exchanging blows that seemed to hurt Kara more than her opponent. He was a giant of a being, heavily protected by thick armor that shielded him from their attacks while enabling him with built-in weapons that dealt critical hits of his own. Lena winced as Kara was smacked aside by one gigantic palm and sent tumbling through the air, only just barely righting herself in time to avoid hitting the ground. She shook her head, trying to focus, and shot out a weak beam of heat vision that barely scorched the Anti-Monitor's chest plate before leaping into the air once more.

Things between them had been… strained, to say the least. Eventually, Kara had confronted Lena and told her the truth about who she was, but it had been too little, too late. Lena had been too hurt and felt too much like a fool to immediately let bygones be bygones, and had asked for time alone to sort through her thoughts. Kara had been understanding, even though she was clearly upset by Lena's cold response, and they had agreed to contact one another only in the case of an emergency until further notice. It had been two months since then, and three days ago, Kara had shown up at her office with no warning in full uniform, informing her that something was coming to destroy the cosmos and that despite being shot in the chest twice, Lex was somehow involved and they needed her help to stop them. Now she was here, fighting wraiths in an entirely different universe as her god-like teammates crumbled around her - and she was more afraid than her outward appearance led others to believe.

Lena took out a Shadow coming up on Alex's right, who also had her own modified ray gun in place of her usual weapon. They were part of the ground team responsible for distracting the demons away from the fight against the Anti-Monitor, and keeping them off their super-powered friends' backs.

"How much do you have left?" Lena shouted in her direction.

Alex quickly reloaded her gun and shot two more demons in quick succession. "Not enough for all of them!" She wore a suit similar to Lena's, although it was much less advanced in the way of weaponry. There had only been so much time to cobble together pieces and parts in order to make something suitable for protection, and Lena desperately hoped it would hold out long enough to keep Alex safe.

"We have to fall back! There are too many lives at stake!" Lena took another shot, missed, and cursed loudly before taking the demon down with the second and third fire.

"The whole universe is at stake! They aren't going to leave until that thing is finished!" She pointed at Kara and Superman, then at Batwoman, who was fighting off a horde of Shadows a few dozen yards away. "She needs help! Come on!"

Lena began to follow Alex, her suit marking at least half a dozen Shadows for targets when the earth suddenly began to tremble, causing the two of them to lose their balance. Alex's gun flew out of her hands and she pitched forward, trying to grab it as the ground shook beneath them. A nearby Shadow saw her struggling and dove for the gun as well, intending to dispose of both the weapon and its wielder. As soon as the Shadow's black hand touched it, the ray gun disintegrated into ash. The demon's eyes seemed to narrow in a faceless smirk, Alex just a few feet from its reach, frozen beneath its gaze.

Lena fired five consecutive shots without hesitation and the creature dissipated into the air, one long arm fading in a cloud of smoke stretched in mid-reach. Alex turned, her face pale but relieved. "Thank you."

"We have to get you out of here." Lena replied shortly.

Alex balked. "No! No way, I'm not leaving you all here."

"Your weapon is gone, I don't have a spare, and we're surrounded by things that can kill just by touching you. You have to go back, there's nothing else you can do here." Lena grabbed Alex by the arm and helped her to her feet. "I'll cover you as you make a run for the portal. Brainy will get you home."

Alex's face contorted into a mixture of anger and fear. She looked up, biting her lip as Kara took another hit. There were tears in her eyes as she looked back at Lena. "I can't leave without her."

"You _have_ to," Lena's voice was soft but firm. "She'll be ok. She always is. Now come on, before more of them show up!" She pulled Alex forward, forcing her into a run in the opposite direction of the battle, towards safety.

The portal wasn't far, less than a quarter of a mile, and there were surprisingly few Shadows along the way. Most of them had already either been killed or were still fighting with the others, and Lena was glad for the momentary reprieve. Finally, Brainy and the portal were in sight and Lena pushed Alex forward.

"Go! Go now!"

"Lena, make sure Kara gets home!" Alex choked, her voice tight with worry and regret.

Lena nodded once. "I will. Now please, go!"

Alex disappeared in a flash of white and Lena wasted no time. She hated to exhaust her reserve power on sustained flight, so she used short bursts to propel her forward, quickly gaining ground in a fraction of the time it had taken to bring Alex back to the portal. She had a growing sense of dread as the battlefield came back into view, even though the number of Shadow demons had significantly decreased in the short time she'd been gone. Something felt different, off somehow.

A flash of red and blue in the distance caught her eye and Lena zoomed in on the ground - Superman was down. A quick reading from her suit's internal computer confirmed his heart rate and body temperature were still detectable; he was unconscious, but alive. She looked up in the sky where Kara was fighting with a new-found fury she hadn't known her to be capable of. Her movements were still slower than normal, but she made up for it with a renewed strength that had to be coming from the depths of her solar reserves. Lena was transfixed as she watched the battle, forgetting the Shadows, forgetting her teammates and that she should be helping them, only able to watch helplessly as Kara took harder and harder hits and still went back for more. The Anti-Monitor's armor was cracked in several places and it seemed to be tiring - a few more blows and the fight could very well be over.

Kara landed a massive punch that sent the Anti-Monitor flying backwards in a line drive, its armor carving a deep trench into the earth as it skidded to a stop some thousand yards away and lay still. Several of the other heroes cheered, and the few remaining Shadows disappeared into the air in what appeared to be a retreat. Lena herself couldn't fight the smile that was tugging at her face and she breathed a heavy sigh of relief. She realized now just how afraid she'd been that Kara wouldn't have been able to last much longer, and how the outcome could've been far, far worse. Lena started to make her way towards her exhausted friend, each step a resolve to close the massive distance between them. Once they returned home, she would pull her aside and they would talk - _really_ talk. Lena was tired of missing her best friend, even if the pain of all the lies still lingered. Her time alone, cut off from everyone she had grown to love and care for over the last few years had taught her one thing - If anyone was worth giving a second chance, it was Kara.

Kara swayed in the air, her body spent. She slowly began to descend, flying towards her fallen cousin below as the other heroes began to regroup and make their way towards the two Kryptonians.

Then there was a horrible whine from afar that stopped them all in their tracks.

Lena slowly turned her head towards the source of the sound, using the computer in her visor to zoom in on their fallen enemy. Her heart plummeted. The Anti-Monitor was getting up, his legs unsteady but still functional. His chest plate was moving, the metal twisting and reshaping itself in a series of transforming motions. Lena looked at her hand cannon, twisting her palm so that the emitter was facing towards her, and all the warmth drained from her face as she made the connection.

_Oh God..._

Its chest began to glow.

Kara had to have known what was happening. She flew straight for their enemy without a second of hesitation, using every ounce of speed she had left, but the fight had taken too much out of her. There was too much distance between them and Kara's speed was failing quickly after all the energy she had spent putting the Anti-Monitor down. Her face contorted into a grimace of desperation - she wasn't going to be fast enough, and she knew it. Still, she stayed her course and did not waver.

The whining grew louder, almost deafening, and Lena ran faster. She knew it wasn't in Kara's nature to quit, but Lena couldn't just stand there and watch her best friend sacrifice herself. To hell with the universe - she wasn't losing any more family.

Her position was closer to the Anti-Monitor than it was to Kara, and if Lena timed it right, she might be able to push Kara out of the lane of fire before the Anti-Monitor's shot could reach her. Her Luthor suit had one good burst of sustained flight left in it, but she needed to get closer before taking off or else she would end up falling short.

The glow from the Anti-Monitor's cannon turned from white to red; Lena could see the heat waves coming off it even from a distance. Her instincts told her that this was no ordinary weapon - there was an evil, menacing quality about it that made her blood run cold, and she knew that whatever happened, she couldn't let Kara come into contact with it.

Kara was now almost perpendicular with Lena's intended trajectory. The cannon in the Anti-Monitor's chest began to form a massive orb of unknown energy, a high-pitched sound pulsating like a terrible heartbeat. Lena could feel the vibrations through her suit and she was instantly flooded with terror. She was still too far away to make the jump, but she'd run out of time.

Lena turned her thrusters on to full blast, knowing it was hopeless, desperate to be wrong, just this once. She stretched out her arms, reaching in vain as the Anti-Monitor's cannon let loose.

"KARA!"

The ball of anti-matter energy hit Kara full-on, enveloping her in a blood-red sphere as she screamed in pain. The collision sent shock waves flying outwards in a tremendous wave and Lena was thrown backwards by the force. She landed heavily, her armor protecting her body from a series of flips and barrel rolls until she finally came to a stop in the rocky landscape, and the alien world went dark.


	2. Chapter 2

She came to a few moments later, her suit battered and dented but still intact. A soft, steady beeping told her that her power levels were critically low; the blast must have drained everything she'd had left in her reserves. Lena wearily lifted her head and the suit took readings of her fallen teammates, scattered in the distance. They were all unconscious, but their vitals were strong - they had either been far enough away from the Anti-Monitor when the energy had dispersed or had been protected by their powers, and Lena knew without a doubt that the Luthor suit was the only reason she had survived such close proximity with the blast's effects.

Lena pushed herself to her feet, unsteadily scanning the area with what little power she had left. The Anti-Monitor was nowhere in sight - he had suffered substantial damage and had most likely retreated to lick his wounds and regroup, and his Shadow demons had disappeared along with him. They were the only beings in the immediate area, at least for now.

Lena's visor caught a blip of a heat signature somewhere in front of her and then the power died completely. An eerie silence descended, pierced only by the soft sound of the dust settling around her. She ejected herself from the suit with a manual override, feeling a thousand times lighter and more than a little disoriented as she fell out of the armor's embrace. She stumbled blindly as she searched for solid footing, squinting through the clouds of dust until she saw a familiar red shape fluttering in the wind. She tried to run, only managing a dizzy jog until the reeling waves of vertigo faded. Finally, the outline of Kara's body came into stunning detail and Lena felt relief quickly replaced by mounting horror.

"Kara!" Lena fell to her knees, ignoring the sharp rocks that dug into her skin as she grabbed Kara's shoulder, turning her from her side to her back. All the muscles in Lena's face tightened as she assessed the damage. Kara's suit was tattered and shredded, one sleeve ripped clean off. She was covered in dirt and ash, blood flowing freely out of dozens of deep gashes and cuts, and dark purple bruises colored her fair skin. One eye was swollen shut and her chest heaved with long, raspy breaths. Her one good eye slowly turned to Lena's shocked, stricken face.

"Lena…" She wheezed, coughing weakly as blood trickled down her chin.

"Oh God, Kara," Lena's eyes flitted from one injury to another, panic setting in. She had no medical supplies, no powers, no way to get her to the portal without help, and she was the only one among them who was conscious - the human scientist who didn't even have her inventions to rely on.

Kara's breaths were labored, as if the very act of breathing was too painful to endure. "Alex?" Her voice sounded hoarse and rough, like two pieces of sandpaper grating against each other.

Lena nodded her head, hoping the good news would stir something in Kara and give her strength. "She's ok. She's home."

"Super…man?"

"Safe. We're all safe, we're all ok." Lena was afraid to touch her, even in gentle reassurance. She looked so broken, so unlike the woman she had known and loved no matter which persona she'd worn during their various stages of friendship. A horrible thought entered her mind before she could push it down.

_She's dying…_

Lena swallowed the wave of terror rising in her stomach like bile. "We-we have to get you out of here. My suit… it's…" She couldn't say the word. She would not use that word. "It's not functioning. If we can get you on your feet - I can carry you, we'll get to the portal -"

"I can't… feel my body…" Kara's eyelids fluttered weakly, fighting to stay conscious.

Lena shook her, forgetting her anxiety over how fragile of a state Kara was in. "Hey! You stay with me, ok? You stay awake! We can do this! People like you and me, we don't give up, right?"

A ghost of a smile formed on Kara's face. With gargantuan effort, she tilted her palm so that it was facing up and touched Lena's hand lightly. "Mm'so… sorry…"

Lena's eyes filled with tears as she took Kara's hand. "Don't talk. Save your strength."

"Shouldn't… have lied…"

"It doesn't matter now, none of that matters."

"Forgive me… _please_. " She whispered, her eyes overflowing with tears. They made two small trails down her grimy cheeks as she turned her head towards Lena, sorrow and regret clearly written across her marred features.

Lena felt a knot in her throat that made the one in her stomach feel like a pebble. Her face twisted with agony and she nodded, the motion shaking a few tears from her chin to land in the dusty ground.

"I forgive you, Kara." Lena replied. She gently squeezed Kara's fingers and took a shaky breath. "But so help me _God_ I am getting you out of here, so fight!"

Kara chuckled, her eyelids heavy and leaden as they slowly shut. She was so tired...

Lena shook her harder now. "Kara! Kara, don't you dare go!"

"So… bossy…"

"Kara!"

"Tell Alex… tell all of them…" Kara abruptly stopped, and Lena heard one last rush of air pass her lips before her chest gently fell and did not rise again. Lena felt hysteria rising as she searched for a pulse, then put her ear to Kara's chest, hearing no signs of a heartbeat.

"No… no no no no - Help! Somebody help me!" Her eyes darted from one unconscious hero to another, her panic manifesting into a full on attack as she clutched Kara's still-warm hand in her own.

"PLEASE! I NEED HELP! PLEASE, GOD, SOMEONE HELP ME!" Lena sobbed, her body shaking as she screamed over and over again until her voice was raw. She placed her free hand on Kara's mangled blonde hair and hung her head, crying bitter, angry, wretched tears. She'd been so petty, so stubborn. All that time wasted, and what had it gotten her? Another piece of her family ripped from her life, and it was all her fault.

Lena felt a sudden change in the air and her head shot up. She looked around wildly, expecting to see the Anti-Monitor or the Shadows, knowing that she was as good as finished if they had come back, but there was no sign of them. She heard a sound like wind traveling down a long tunnel, except a hundred times louder, and Lena realized that it was a sound she recognized. It couldn't be…

A flash of white light descended upon each fallen hero, quick as a bolt of lightning, and then they disappeared one by one. Lena grabbed onto Kara and braced herself, feeling the warm glow covering them like sunshine mixed with static. Seconds later, they landed with a soft thud where a familiar cacophony of voices rushed into her ears. Brainy's arm was pulling her up from the floor and a team of DEO agents led by Alex lifted Kara's body onto a gurney where she was whisked away before Lena could orient herself. She collapsed into Brainy's arms, his voice a muffled din as her body succumbed to exhaustion and grief.

* * *

_Lena. Lena, wake up._

Lena started, disoriented from her slumber.. She looked around at her new surroundings, trying to determine how she'd gotten into a bed and why her body hurt so much. For one blissful moment she forgot that her best friend was dead. Then she felt Alex's gentle hand in hers and as their eyes met it all came rushing back in a tidal wave of emotion.

"Oh God, Alex," Lena's eyes filled and her face crumpled with guilt and regret. "I tried, I tried to get her home, but I wasn't… I couldn't…" Her voice broke off as she covered her mouth with her free hand and turned her head, trying in vain to contain her grief. It was her fault that Alex no longer had a sister. Would Lena be able to look at any of them ever again without seeing Kara's shadow?

Alex scooted closer to Lena's bedside and shook her head quickly. "No, no no, Lena, listen to me," She held her hand tighter, trying to get Lena to look at her. "When Brainy brought you all back, we already had the solar lamps ready just in case something awful happened."

Lena narrowed her eyes in confusion and wiped at her damp face, sitting up in her bed. "What?"

"When Kara is in critical condition and her cells have been depleted of the energy from a yellow sun, we have a brief window of time where, if we get her back to the DEO quick enough, we can mimic solar energy and jump-start her healing factor. Brainy could hear you screaming through Kara's comms, generated new portals, and pulled you all out just in time."

Lena tried to gather her thoughts, tried to make sense out of all of it. Jump-starting Kara made it sound like…

Lena looked at Alex and took a shaky breath. "What exactly are you saying?"

Alex smiled gently, using her free hand to squeeze Lena's shoulder. "Kara is alive."

Lena fell back against the pillow and covered her face with her hands, shaking with a combination of euphoria and disbelief. She had heard Kara's last breath, felt her heart go still - she had watched her best friend die, but now Alex was telling her it wasn't true, that Kara lived, and suddenly Lena had never been so mentally exhausted in all her life. She tried her best to pull herself together before opening her eyes and turning towards Alex.

"Can I talk to her?"

Alex nodded. "She's been recharging for about two hours. Whatever that thing hit her with really did a number on her, but she's responding well under the lamps and she's conscious." Alex gestured with her head. "She's right down the hall."

* * *

Lena stood in the doorway for a moment, her breath caught in her throat. Kara was laying under four large lights with her eyes closed, soaking in the restorative rays. Lena had been terrified that she'd dreamed the whole conversation with Alex up and that as soon as she entered the room, she'd wake up and Kara would be dead again. Lena looked closer and saw the unmistakable rise and fall of her chest, proof that everything Alex had said was true, and yet she couldn't make herself take those last few steps.

Almost as if she had sensed another presence in the room, Kara lazily opened her eyes and turned her head, smiling in recognition. "Hey."

Lena exhaled with one shocked breath, feeling like she wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. She entered the room and pulled a chair over to her side, sitting down heavily as Kara watched. Lena shook her head in disbelief.

"You scared the absolute hell out of me." Lena said lowly. She was fighting tears that she was determined not to shed, if only because she had been through emotional hell today and had been on the slight verge of madness ever since she'd been told that multiple Earths existed.

Kara bit her lip guiltily. "Yeah…" Most of her cuts and bruises had healed, leaving no remnants that she'd ever had them at all. Someone (probably Alex) had cleaned her face of dirt and dried blood and her skin was back to its healthy glow. A few more hours under the solar lamps and no one would have known that she'd been dead on arrival.

Kara reached for her hand and Lena took comfort in the warmth, squeezing gently. "I know we have a lot to talk about, and I know we're in the middle of a universe-altering Crisis right now, but…" Kara paused, her eyes hopeful. "Can we be friends again?"

Time is a funny thing. You can waste so much of it in anger, jealousy, and stubbornness, thinking that fate will leave you untouched - but that's just not how life works. Luthors were raised to be insurmountable, and forgiveness was seen as a weakness. Somewhere along the way, Lena had forgotten that there are those out there who are worth forgiving, and people who couldn't be pushed out of your heart no matter how hard you tried to force it.

Lena smiled, clasping both her hands around Kara's in a gesture of solidarity. She couldn't stop the few stray tears from rolling down her face, but it was ok. It meant she was alive.

"Always."


End file.
